“How many times do I need to forgive my brother?” Peter asked. Wouldn’t it be simpler if he’d been told, “If someone sins against you three times, you’re off the hook; it’s totally reasonable to withhold your forgiveness after that.” I’m thankful “reasonable” is not the standard when it comes to forgiveness though – I’d be maxed out on forgiveness, whether it was 3, 7, 77, or 70x7 forgiveness-es we were allotted!

In Christian culture, we attempt to practice biblical principles in conflict resolution. Sometimes it works well, and at other times, it seems to backfire.

We have found there are a few layers of conflict resolution that many Christians conflate, and it can be helpful to pull apart each layer to address biblically, rather than assume they are each the same. For example, when someone is hurt or offended, they have to make choices about forgiveness, reconciliation, and trust.

Not everyone needs counseling, but all of us can benefit from personal growth. Part of our heart at Valeo is to equip global workers with resources that enhance your well-being and effectiveness. We recently created the Global Worker Field Guide as one of those resources and made it available as a free download on our website. We interviewed the author, Curtis, LPC, LMHC, for insights into the Field Guide and how to use it.

Continuing our series on self-care, we reached out to several Valeo care providers to ask for their advice and experiences about self-care, particularly while serving in a cross-cultural context.

What has self-care looked like for you while serving cross-culturally? What have you learned about self-care in general from living in cross-cultural contexts?

This peculiar phrase (to my American ears) is forever with me after living and serving in Hong Kong. It's the phrase that is announced in multiple languages at the start and end of every train trip on Hong Kong’s Mass Transit Railway (MTR). “Please mind the gap!” It echoes through train cars and stations literally millions of times a day. "Please mind the gap!” It’s an announcement that declares the seemingly obvious (notice the gap between the platform and the train) with the implication: don’t trip! Hong Kong is not alone in its concern for travelers. Wikipedia has an entire page devoted to “Mind the gap”, listing all the cities and countries which have their own version!

My clients are incredible people; I learn so much from each of them. It takes courage and strength to seek help and open up to a care provider. I’m honored each time someone trusts me with their heart, with their story in all its fullness, the messiness and brokenness, the glory and the redemption. I rejoice with them in their victories and grieve with them in their losses and deep pain.

“I can’t believe this is happening again!” Carly’s words echoed in her empty apartment. She skimmed the email from her team leader a second time.

Due to the recent spike in COVID-19 cases, the government has implemented a strict lockdown. You will need to remain in your apartments except for …

Carly glanced at the scant list of exceptions. Over a year into the pandemic, things in her country of service had finally started returning to normal, and now this. She made it through the first lockdown partly thanks to the companionship of her roommate … but that ended when her roommate returned home to Canada a few months earlier.

One of the greatest stressors for global workers is seeing their children struggle, especially in a setting where they may not have support or resources to help. GRC’s child and adolescent therapist, David, has helped many global worker families over the years. This is the second in a series of posts in which David answers some of the most common questions global workers have been asking about their children.

One of the greatest stressors for global workers is seeing their children struggle, especially in a setting where they may not have support or resources to help. Valeo’s child and adolescent therapist, David, has helped many global worker families over the years. This is the first in a series of posts in which David answers some of the most common questions global workers have been asking about their children.

Phil can hardly wait for it. It's been a hard day of surgery at the rural relief hospital in South America. One case is weighing heavy on his heart. A young mom was rushed in for an emergency C-section. He hoped to at least save the baby, but despite all of his efforts, both died on his table. Tomorrow, he has a scheduled tumor extraction that doesn't look very promising. It feels like he keeps fighting and losing the same battles over and over. All he wants is to go home and forget the day. He wishes that he was able to talk about it with his wife and kids, but they rarely travel with him to the remote villages.

“I don’t know what to do. I try and try, but it just keeps on happening.” Joe said to Mitch, his head held low, “I just get tired at night, and it helps me to relax and fall asleep. I don’t want to look at that stuff on my phone, but it keeps drawing me back in. No one knows about it, but It also doesn’t help that I feel lonely.”

In honor of Self-Care Month, we are continuing our series on the various aspects of self-care. I sat down with Barney Davis, M.D., one of the founders of Valeo, to get a physician’s perspective on physical self-care. Over the years he has served global workers in many locations, both in person and via videoconference, and has unique insight on the challenges faced in caring for oneself in a cross-cultural setting.

“I’ve been through this so many times; why is it still so hard?” Angie* has served overseas for 11 years. She has lived in three different countries and changed roles and cities more times than that. Friends and teammates have come and gone. But this latest move, prompted by unexpected visa issues, has left her floundering.

As early as the American Civil War, we have record of awareness that some individuals developed physical and emotional symptoms in response to wartime stress exposure . Over time, the terms changed, but were still primarily connected to some form of combat trauma; “soldier’s heart,” “shell shock,” and “combat fatigue” were a few of the terms offered to describe the cluster of physical symptoms that resembled sudden feelings of impending doom, panic, and overwhelming anxiety. All of these implied that there was something internally “wrong” with the person that would lead them to respond in an excessive way.

Jessie is a 36-year-old global worker in Central Africa. She is a wife, mother of three, and actively serves in her community. Jessie loves getting to pour her heart into others, but struggles at times to balance serving as a wife, mother, and friend.

One day, Jessie came home after serving breakfast to children in the community, teaching literacy classes, and helping a couple work through marital disputes, to find that her son had broken a lamp and scattered pieces all over the floor while the babysitter was in the bathroom.

Think you might need counseling? You may wonder, “How do I know if I need counseling? Is this serious enough?” “How do I know if I have a ‘mental health issue’?” “What if it seems more like a spiritual issue, but I’m feeling anxious or depressed as a result?” We hope this brief set of common questions and answers will help you determine if counseling can benefit you.

Third Culture Kids experience a variety of challenges, some more than others! Consider a young teenage boy impacted by several cultures. Born in his country of origin, he was placed in an orphanage with significant levels of neglect. After a few years, he was adopted by a family that turned out to be abusive. At the hands of his new parents, he suffered through physical and emotional abuse and neglect.

How many times have you tried to help someone work through personal problems and found them getting “stuck” at some point along the way? One area where this often happens is in the process of forgiveness and healing from past hurts. Many of us, despite our best intentions, have had times when true forgiveness just seemed out of reach. Sometimes forgiveness feels too much like letting the other person off the hook. Or we try to forgive and move on, but something happens and the old hurt and anger flare up as strongly as ever.

The whole idea of setting boundaries and saying no can feel selfish. Sometimes it can feel downright impossible, yet there are always more needs around us than we can possibly meet. When juggling multiple priorities, how do you even figure out what to say no to? And when is saying no not just acceptable, but even the loving thing to do?

What does it take to reach the finish line—to fulfill your calling with joy? Track with me for a minute here. We can learn something from marathon runners about going the distance while serving cross-culturally.